espionage fic commentary

[loveair]

source!

this fic is the longest one ive written all year so far and i kinda have a lot to say about it !

idea

i came up with this specific idea last summer when i was absolutely obsessed w boy mv and just getting into tbz. i did this thing where i came up w ideas for every storyline and pairing in that mv, and i actually ended up turning one of those ideas into a sunhak socmed au ! i havent written any of the other ones but anyway thats what gave me this idea ! the junyuhwall storyline had me so intrigued bc why did they have a drone on poor hyunjun T__T. i ended up changing the pairing bc i felt like i could write bbangnyukyu wayy better than junyuhwall. i also ended up not basing the actual fic on any part of the boy mv ? it just kinda instilled the idea of an assassins au in my head for the first time.  this is taken right out of the note on my phone lol.

for the longest time i had No idea what this fic would be like. it stayed unplanned for a long time bc i couldnt figure out how sad and action-heavy i wanted to make it. im realizing that i really like writing fics where there’s plot separate from the romance rather than having the entire fic revolve around romance, so once i figured out the general plot it was so easy for me to decide what i wanted to do w the romance lol. 

i also came up w the title really easily for this fic ? despite it not being centered around spies really i still went with espionage bc the Vibes were there and honestly tbz has a song called espionage i had to take the opportunity. 

writing process

i actively started thinking about this fic in like august, but since i had a few other wips to work on it was more like me running thru possible plots in my head before bed until i had enough to start outlining. once i started writing though, it was pretty much smooth sailing from there ? i was very hyped ab this fic the entire time i was writing it, and since i was in the depths of uni hell, i didnt even have a writing block.

i also talked ab this in my sept media roundup but like outlining the Entire fic before starting to write has made the process so much smoother. i would outline up until the climax in the past and then try to come up w an ending later, since i find endings really hard to write personally. but just taking an extra few days to think about what type of ending i want has really made me write faster and i think the actual writing is better when i have the end in mind !

i think this fic took me just over a month to write ? i like to write a little everyday rather than writing 5k in one day and then not touching the doc for a week. writing a little everyday keeps me in the fic and just makes it easier for me :D this was one of the easier fics for me to write because writing external conflict and plot comes so much easier to me than dealing with feelings. not that younghoon wasn’t dealing with feelings but the external plot heavily affected how he dealt w his internal conflict and that made it easier for me to navigate younghoon’s character and how he interacts w everyone else. 

au choices

> i had to get younghoon to take photography classes… that man is in love w his camera and he comes off as very creative to me so i also made him draw, though that’s more of a personal hobby, not something he wants to study

> chanhee’s tattoos: this is of course inspired by his actual tattoo, i know he’s said he doesn’t plan on getting more but tattooed chanhee is so personal to me,, i do Not remember writing the scene where he shows changmin and younghoon his new tattoos like that wasnt in the plan at all but i really wanted to write and i didnt end up taking it out bc i liked how it turned out lol.

> locations: despite me not having visited either seoul or tokyo and definitely not having enough knowledge of nyc,, i think the big cities to tiny countryside home really just shows younghoon’s true desires. i def think the three of them would’ve been happy anywhere that they could recreate the few weeks of domesticity they had at sangyeon’s apartment.

> bbangnyukyu’s dynamic: i feel like all deobis know that kyunyu are super close to each other and not to be # weird but i think kyunyu would genuinely be best friends in any universe they’re put in and they’re so close that it would be easy to feel left out,, even when it’s unintentional just because they’re literally platonic soulmates irl. also i really like making chanhee really smart in all my fics bc he’s literally what i aspire to be;; someone smart, w good fashion sense, just so clever in so many ways, and so kind too. 

> i dont think there are any super subtle themes here,, just your usual healing and finding happiness in the smallest things

headcanons

i just couldnt stop thinking about younghoon chanhee and changmin’s lives before and after this fic so i compiled a little list of headcanons lol,,, 

> after fic ends: eventually, younghoon decides to start taking classes again. chanhee and min offer to move closer to campus, bc hoon’s having to drive 45 mins there and back, but he doesn’t mind, he likes everything as it is. so they do that for a year, then eventually they move closer to the city. changmin ends up getting a job teaching martial arts to younger kids, and chanhee works for a communications company, putting his encryption skills to good work

> changmin gets a fish and takes care of it so well

> chanhee and changmin grew up knowing what their parents did and they knew that they eventually would have to work for the agency as well. younghoon’s parents kept their jobs a secret from him so when he finally found out, he was offput and frankly, a little horrified. that’s kinda why chanhee and changmin never felt the same urgency to leave that younghoon did, they were desensitized to their work starting from childhood

> at one point, a few years down the line, sangyeon’s company branches out to south korea and he pays hoon a visit. sangyeon has a list of places that jaehoon had mentioned to him, both major places and locations he’d mentioned in passing, and he and younghoon make a trip out of it and travel to all of those places. it’s the most healing trip younghoon’s ever been on, and sangyeon and him make it a tradition to visit the places they used to go w jaehoon together more regularly.

music ?

i honestly dont listen to very specific music when i write;; i listen to 1 of 3 playlists usually, either my krnb one, slower/ballady kpop, or like indie music and it just depends on what im in the mood for. i leaned towards the indie playlist more for this fic, and also, while i dont have any super specific songs in mind off that playlist that fit this fic, square (2017) by yerin baek is a song that i like to relate to all of my fics simply bc of Vibes.

final thoughts

 

i’m so glad i was able to finish this fic lol ! its been something ive been thinking about for forever and honestly writing anything that isnt a college au is really exciting and somewhat different for me. it also turned out to be the longest thing i’ve written so far this year which i didnt even realize until just now ! this was also my first time writing poly which was also interesting and a lot of fun ! i think i will enjoy writing more poly in the future <3 idk i dont really have that much more to say lol this fic is definitely one im pretty happy with :D